Saturday, April 20, 2024

Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted

| GUEST COLUMN

Do you sometimes feel surrounded by invaders and troublemakers or that every ounce of air you breathe is filled with squadrons of mosquitoes?

I do, especially this time of year and on through autumn.

I’ve suffered decades of pain and grief from these tiny, wickedly clever, agitating insects I’ve come to despise.

These two-winged diabolical, erratic pests have invaded my home, picnics, pool parties and outdoor events to the point its mind boggling. They have bitten and stung me at least a zillion times, leaving me with such an itch I feel like a hound dog with mange.

Their irritating behavior has brought on an absolute revenge-hate for them. They’re the scrounge of the planet’s atmosphere, dastardly bullies that swarm through our air space, hiding in every shrub, tree, flower and vegetable garden. Plus, they take over every inch of lake, river and pond shoreline.

They hide in plain site at every window and door, stalking, ready to attack any and all two- and four-legged creatures at homes, barns and any structure. Their irritating buzz sends me into a frenzy, movement closely resembling a jerky twist and shout dance as I swipe at their whirling sound.

It’s a sad sight.

I’ve come to believe mosquitoes are the planet’s most hated tormentor with one goal: sting.

They enjoy using their ever-ready needle-thin stinger to pierce the skin of humans and animals to suck our blood. In more defining words, we are being attacked by miniature vampires who can fly as fast as a UFO and hide as stealthy as a M1-spy.

Seriously, military strategists could learn a trick or two from these black-hearted, irritating creatures who are infernally cleaver and fast as lightening.

I detest these ravaging little ghouls that create havoc wherever they go, forcing me to arm myself with cans of repellent, fly swatters and more. Still, I’m attacked, stung, bitten and left with an itch that will not subside.

I have no idea why God would create such an annoying insect, the worse rabble-rousers on the planet that I’m sure Noah didn’t invite on the ark. But, being sneaky little devils, I’m sure they snuck on board in the dead of night, multiplying as fast as they could just to aggravate the daylights out of every animal and human for 40 days and nights, and then forever after everyone left the ark.

I don’t believe I can ever be forgiving of these devil-made sleuths who have annoyed and injured me for years.

Some will tell me not to hate or swear that mosquitoes deserve to die more than roaches, scorpions and black widow spiders. But that’s exactly how I feel after I’ve been stung so many times I’m emotionally scared.

Trust me. I’ve tried to think differently, but I simply can’t trust a devious-minded mosquito. However, carrying small cans of mosquito repellent in my purse helps me be ready and armed. I spray my sandal-clad feet, bare legs and arms, as well as the area around me.

The second a mosquito comes near me it drops from the air like an F-16 being shot down. Invariably though, someone will ask, “What is that odd smell?”

But hey, I’m safe.

carolbcook@metro411.net

‘Their irritating buzz sends me into a frenzy, movement closely resembling a jerky twist and shout dance as I swipe at their whirling sound.’