Friday, March 29, 2024

Dealing with death a painful reality we all face sooner or later

Posted

FROM MY FRONT PORCH

Sam Houston is the publisher of the Hood County News. He is also an actor, author, playwright, performer and entertainment producer/promoter.

 

This past week a young friend of mine had the unfortunate experience of having their grandmother pass. By the time a person reaches my “ripe old age” of 65, a close family member’s death is something you have experienced multiple times. I have lost all my grandparents, my folks, and most all my aunts and uncles. It is never a pleasant experience. 

Undoubtedly there is sadness and grief, and many times there is remorse for not having invested more time and effort into a relationship with the person who passed. Dealing with death does become easier with each occasion. A person starts to understand passing on is part of the natural process and the eventual end for all of us. We grieve, we remember, we rejoice, and we move on with living the rest of our lives. Watching my young friend this week, it was both painful and enriching to see her pass through her “first loss.”

The young woman’s grandmother had been her babysitter a great deal when she was little and the two undoubtedly had a very close connection. I heard my friend say to several others, “My Granny raised me.” I know for a fact the young woman comes from a good home with two hardworking parents and the statement was not intended to take away from her parents at all. Rather it reflected how important her grandmother was to her growing up and how impactful the relationship was to her becoming the outstanding young woman she is today.

I saw the anxiety on this young woman’s face as her Grandmother entered hospice, and when the declaration of death was made, with all its sudden finality, I could feel her pain and sense of loss. I spoke to her and counseled with her, hoping somehow my many experiences of dealing with the death of others would somehow comfort her.

I am very fond of this young woman, and it pained me to see her in agony. I hoped kind words, and relaying to her what I had learned in the journey of life, might comfort her. I am prayerful my words helped, but a big part of me knew the only solace she would find would be in her personal faith, in her understanding of the inevitability of all our deaths, and the joyful memories she would always carry with her.

As I drove to the funeral, it was raining in Hood County. I prayed it would be sunny when I arrived at the funeral’s location. Nothing more depressing than a dark, rainy day for a funeral. Fortunately, when I arrived at the funeral home, the sun was out, the day was beautiful, and I found my young friend surrounded by a loving family and friends. She smiled and appeared to be at peace with what she had been forced to experience.

During the service, my friend spoke and read a special poem for those in attendance. I knew it would be very difficult for her to speak and to read the poem and I understandably feared she might break down or be unable to finish. My mind even created contingent plans in my brain to leave my seat and come assist her if she could not get through the reading. My young friend made me very proud. She read the poem with conviction, passion, and clarity; just as her grandmother would have wanted.

After the service, my friend told me she appreciated me coming to the service and smiled at me. I could see in her eyes she still had grief, but she had come to grips with her first experience with death. It is a sad and unfortunate part of life but a road all of us travel. While I feel sadness for her loss, and I am so pleased with the outstanding young woman she truly is, and the way she handled herself. She had a learning experience, a difficult but necessary one. One we all have if we are blessed to be on this earth for very long.

Thought for the day: It is hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

Until next time ...

 

sam@hcnews.com | 817-573-7066, ext. 260