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DEAR FRANKIE

Frankie is a rescue dog and an emotional support animal for Geneva Woodruff. Woodruff is a retired educator.

 

Dear Frankie,

Don’t get me wrong; I love my mom. I’d even say she’s perfect, except for one thing. She loves being hip, wearing torn jeans and shoes with spikes (even though she has a bad foot). I love to see the outfits she comes up with. But I wouldn’t say I like seeing them on me. 

At Christmas, she dressed me up like a reindeer; Easter was rabbit ears, and on Halloween, a costume for the dog parade competition. Thank God I didn’t win. Can you imagine the reaction at the dog park? It would take me years to live it down. 

The rest of the year, it’s bandanas and bows. Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin were revered dogs. They didn’t wear clothes. So why me, I ask?

Cordially,

Camilla

 

Dear Camilla,

I’m with you, Camilla 100%. I think dressing up a dog is demeaning and disrespectful. Remember in my earlier column I told you that humans believe they are our parents and parenting is the most competitive sport in America? So, they dress you up and show you off like you were their child. Your Mom means well. It’s her way of expressing love. 

Yeah, I know a cookie would be better; but try telling her that. Whatever her reason, don’t put up with it. When you see her approaching, run away, hide under the bed. If she does catch you, squirm and make it hard for her to dress you.

As a last resort, I’m not saying you should do this, but a dog friend told me that every time her mom dressed her up, she immediately peed on the rug. After countless carpet-cleaning episodes, the mom put two and two together and threw all her dog clothes away. 

Sometimes, Camilla, you need to resort to extreme measures.

Best,

Frankie