QPR: Ask a question, save a life: Rancho Brazos hosts suicide prevention seminar

The Hood County community was rocked to the core earlier this year when news spread about three Hood County students who suddenly took their own lives — an immense tragedy that left residents heartbroken with nowhere to turn.

To serve as an anchor for the community during this heartbreaking time, Rancho Brazos Community Centers hosted its first ever free suicide prevention seminar on June 27.

“We lost three youth very tragically and very suddenly recently, and we are here to talk about ways to prevent it, and ways to roll that out into our community for prevention education,” said Sharla Caro, executive director of RBCC during the event.

David Umanzor, program manager at the Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation in Fort Worth, served as speaker for the seminar.

“There's this proverb that says it takes an entire village to raise a child — but we really believe it takes an entire community to save one,” Umanzor said, as he began the seminar.

He explained that the Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation is named after Jordan Harris, a 22-year-old scholarship recipient and valedictorian of her high school class, who suffered heavily from depression.

"She really was the last person anybody thought would be struggling with mental health,” Umanzor explained. “But in her senior year of college, she was diagnosed with severe depression, and only four months after that she took her life. Her parents Tom and Ellen Harris started the foundation in her name with the mission to prevent suicide, eliminate stigma, and provide hope to those struggling with depression — and we truly envision a world without suicide or depression.”

STATISTICS

Known as a silent epidemic, suicide is the second leading cause of death for individuals ages 10 to 34 in the U.S.

Umanzor said that statistics show that one in 10 children who take their lives in North Texas is under the age of 13 and that children as young as six years old in Texas have committed suicide.

"We're seeing the need (for this type of education) and we’ve got to do something about it,” he said.

Umanzor explained that statistically, while women attempt suicide nearly twice as often as men, men successfully commit suicide four times more than women — and that’s because men typically choose more violent and lethal methods to try to end their life.

"Fifty-three percent of all suicides are by firearm in the United States,” Umanzor said. “In Texas, it's 58%. Here in our area, it's 66%. We're not saying that people who own a firearm are more likely to think about suicide, but what we are saying is that somebody who is considering suicide who also has easy access to a firearm is more likely to use that firearm.”

He suggested that if a gun owner is exhibiting signs of suicidal behavior to remove the firearm from the house or by separating pieces of the firearm and locking them in different areas of the house.

“What we find is that about 50% of people, for the time they start considering suicide seriously, to the time they attempt, it's 10 minutes or less,” he said. “For the 60% to 70% it's 15 minutes or less, so if we can put that time and distance between that person and those lethal means we could save lives.”

Umanzor also pointed out that almost three times as many people have died by suicide than in drunk driving accidents within the last few years.

"Out of all 50 states, Texas is number 36 in suicide rates," he said, adding that states in rural areas — like Alaska, Montana, and Wyoming — rank higher on the list due to a lack of available mental health resources.

But can you even stop someone from committing suicide? Isn’t it inevitable once a person makes up their mind?

MYTHS

“What we see is that actually suicide is one of the most preventable forms of death and almost any positive action can help save a life from suicide,” Umanzor said.

He then brought up the story of Kevin Hines, a 19-year-old who was living in the San Francisco area in California.

Hines had been diagnosed with bipolar disease, was estranged from his father, and had just broken up with his girlfriend.

Determined to end his life, Hines told himself he was going to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge.

However, the entire drive over, Hines was crying and visibly upset. He told himself, “If someone will stop and talk to me, I won’t do it.”

But no one did.

Once Hines got off the bus, he walked to the bridge and started pacing back and forth, and again, he tells himself, “If someone will stop and smile at me, I won’t do it.”

But again, no one did — and Hines eventually jumped.

“Kevin did not want to die,” Umanzor said. “Really, Kevin was looking for any opportunity to live. In fact, something that we learn from people who have attempted suicide, but survived a suicide attempt, is oftentimes they have this feeling of ambivalence that they equally want to die and live at the same time. Sometimes something as simple as a smile or taking the time to listen to somebody can tip that in the balance of life.”

Umanzor said as soon as Hines jumped, he immediately regretted his decision. Luckily, Hines survived the suicide attempt and is one of 27 survivors who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Other common suicide misconceptions like “asking someone about suicide will put the idea into someone’s head” or that “people considering suicide will keep their plans to themselves” are both myths, Umanzor said.

"What we find is that most people considering suicide communicate within about a week,” he explained. “We know that seven out of 10 kids will tell friends they're thinking about suicide, but that friend will rarely, if ever, tell an adult. The thing we need to know is that sometimes it's hard to tell, but people do communicate in some way or other.”

WARNING SIGNS

According to Umanzor, people who are contemplating suicide will indirectly give off warning signs — signs that we hear, see, and know.

“The more clues and signs you observe, the greater the risk, so we want to make sure we take these very seriously,” he said.

Many people will give off direct verbal cues, like saying “I wish I were dead,” or “I’m going to end it all.” Umanzor said that some may say these things in a joking manner, but it's important that we bring light to the concern.

"What I want us to do is really take it seriously enough to at least ask,” he said. “We're not accusing them of anything. We're literally trying to find out, and if it turns out they're just laughing about it, that gives us an opportunity to say, ‘Okay, well, I want you to know that anytime I hear you say this, I'm going to take this seriously because I care about you.'”

Umanzor said sometimes people are less direct, and will make statements like, “I’m tired of life. I just can’t go on,” or “My family will be better off without me.”

“The second one's really important to remember because what we've learned from people who have attempted suicide, but survived their attempt, is that oftentimes they feel this heavy sense of burden, and they feel like it would be a relief to others if they weren't here,” he explained. “I've heard people say, ‘Oh, suicide is so selfish. Why would anybody do that?’ But in reality, they think they’re doing a service to their loved ones.”

Other behavioral clues like isolation, irritability, reckless behavior, or giving away prized possessions are also suicidal warning signs.

Situational clues are major events that have happened to a person that could eventually lead to a person thinking about suicide. Common situational events include the loss of a job, the loss of any major relationship, or a death of a loved one — especially if they have lost someone to suicide.

QPR - QUESTION

If you see a loved one or a coworker exhibiting any suicidal warning signs, it’s important that you take action immediately.

Umanzor recommends the method of QPR: Question, Persuade, and Refer.

Like CPR, QPR is an emergency intervention tool that can help save a life from suicide.

“QPR is not intended to be a form of counseling or treatment, but what we are offering is hope through positive action,” Umanzor said.

The first step in QPR is Question, asking someone directly if they are thinking about suicide. According to Umanzor, you can choose to take a direct or indirect approach.

DIRECT APPROACH EXAMPLES

“Some people who are as upset as you think about suicide. I'm wondering if you've been feeling that way too?”

“I wonder if you've been thinking about suicide?”

“Are you thinking about killing yourself?”

Umanzor said that the direct approach is the most recommended, as it’s been the most effective in getting a response.

"The whole idea is we want to become comfortable asking this question, because this question could literally save someone's life,” he said.

INDIRECT APPROACH EXAMPLES

“Have you been unhappy lately? … Why have you been so unhappy? … Have you been thinking about ending your life?”

Umanzor explained that this approach layers the question and asks the person about suicide directly.

"Oftentimes, I get the question that ‘Is it okay if I were to ask, are you thinking about hurting yourself?’ I think that would be an excellent first question, but it wouldn't be a great second question,” he said. “We want to ask specifically about suicide, because here's the thing for someone considering suicide: suicide to them is not hurting themselves; it's bettering themselves. They don't think the same way like we're thinking. They're getting rid of their pain, so what we want to do is ask specifically about suicide."

QPR – PERSUADE

The next step in QPR is to Persuade, as in “persuading someone to stay alive by persuading them to get help," according to Umanzor.

He recommends that we allow the person to talk freely and listen without judgement, making sure to give them our full attention.

"The idea is, we don't want to just listen to them; we want them to feel heard,” Umanzor said. “And as we're doing that, we're also saying things like, ‘I want you to live. This is serious. I'm worried about you. That makes me concerned,’ and then offering hope by saying things like ‘I'm on your side. We'll get through this together. I've got your back.’”

QPR – REFER

Step number three in QPR stands for Refer, where you go with your loved one to make sure that they can get the help that they need.

RESOURCES

Help is available at several different organizations and resources, like the Loss Team of Tarrant County, Fort Behavioral Health, and many others.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline numbers are 1-800-273-8255 and 988.

Individuals can also use the Crisis Text Line by texting “HELLO” to 741741.

A local resource to contact is the Pecan Valley Centers, the mental health authority for all of Hood County, that can be reached at 800-772-5987.

Rancho Brazos is also hosting a Teen Support group every Wednesday from 3-5:30 p.m. due to the increase of local teen suicides.

"The last thing to remember is that almost all efforts to persuade someone to live instead of attempting suicide will be met with agreement and relief, so don't hesitate to get involved,” Umanzor added.

For more information about suicide prevention or resources, visit jordanharrisfoundation.org online.